Tuesday, December 2, 2014
I have started this blog over and over in the past few weeks. Just trying to really get my thoughts clear, get my head clear. Have you ever felt like that, like you have turned a corner and you are so excited you want to share it but just can't make it clear?!?! That is where I have been living the past few weeks, and its great, and frustrating all at once.
I had an epiphany a few weeks before Thanksgiving. It was the strangest thing. I was getting dressed for work, something that happens everyday and usually triggers some sort of negative thought. Something like, that used to be more tone or that was firmer once upon a time. So I'm getting dressed and I look in the mirror and I think, pretty good for 37. Yep, 37...and normally too this would have bothered me but it didn't, it doesn't. It instead started this while whirlwind of thoughts and feelings.
The day I got married I was in the best shape of my life, I will never be like that again. ow here is where the change happened...I will never be like that again NOT because I'm lazy or anything like that....I will never be like that again because I am not that person anymore. I'm not that young, I don't have the amount of free time I had then, my body isn't the same...I have been pregnant, I have rounded another decade, so many things...and you know what? I'm good with it. I accept it. Not only that, I embrace it.
It's true, I will never have the body I had at 21 again, I will never have the body I had on my wedding day again...and I am so grateful for that fact! I will never have it again because I can be better...I can be healthier and stronger. When I was younger I could workout for hours, I could run everyday unhindered...but now I have to make time for it. But you know what, it has made me healthier overall. I may have 10-15 pounds more on my frame right now then I would like, but its okay...because (most) of the food choices that got me there are FAR better then the ones I made when I was hard(er)-bodied twenty-something. My metabolism isn't what it used to be...but I can work with that, I can push myself harder...and until I get there, if I get there I'm good with how I am right now.