Friday, September 5, 2014
Hi, my name is Shannon and I have an addiction to the TV show Parenthood on NBC. I have recently found this amazing piece on Netflix, and cannot seem to stop watching it. I am eagerly awaiting the season premier this year even more then my birthday. Well, truth be told it's ON my birthday, so it's like NBC's little gift to me. There. I said it. I openly admit my addiction.
I have found myself emotionally attached to these characters, and drawing on their experiences and how things parallel life. It's such a good show. It's true to life. It's made me stop and really appreciate little things with my family that I may have otherwise not even noticed. I have actually felt a wave of calm wash over me after watching an episode. It's like, see, even TV families have a lot of crap to deal with, its not all Norman Rockwell.
One of the things I find after watching it though is how aware I am of time passing. My oldest turned 13 yesterday. She is officially a teenager. I can't believe it. My youngest, my baby, my mini me...she started kindergarten last week. Where has the time gone? Where is it going? Why do my babies have to keep getting older and more independent? I know that is what is best for them, I really do...but they are my babies.
There was a storyline that I just finished in the show (I won't tell you...no need for a spoiler alert for those who intend to watch)...but it made me really start to think about the things that I want my girls to know and remember and think and feel and believe. So here it goes.
My sweet Bayba..
You are now a teenager. I can't believe it. When did this happen? You were just me sweet little girl yesterday pressing her face against the window at daycare crying, begging me not to leave you there (which made me constantly late for work-because I couldn't just leave you there). You were the first person to make me realize just how full of love my heart could really be. You were my sleep hating baby at night that would gently lay on my chest and hold my finger as you napped during the day. You were the first amazing child in my life to utter the word Momma, and make me realize just how special that word really is. You made me look at my relationship with Mimi (my mom) in a whole new light. You make me laugh, you make me cry, you fill me with fear and also hope. You have grown into a beautiful young woman. Quiet and reserved, smart, witty, funny with your Dad's crazy sense of humor. You know what is important to you and you protect it fiercely. You try to be SO independent, but still come and just hug me or rest your head on my shoulder so I know you still need me, and guess what...I need you too. You will always be my first baby. The first one to fill my heart and make me realize how precious life is and can be, I have so many hopes and dreams for you. You doubt yourself, we all do, but you are stronger than you know and can do anything. I know all parents tell their children that, but you my sweet girl really can and will. I am so proud of the person you are becoming, it's an honor to be your mom.
Oh my sweet, sweet mini me,
I don't even know where to begin with you. You are my soul, my heart. You and I connect in a way no one else ever will or will ever truly understand. You made me realize that love is bigger and stronger than anything in this world. You spoke to me even when you were still rolling around and kicking in my belly. You are me. I look into your big beautiful eyes and see such love reflecting back at me. You may look like your Dadoo, but you my dear, are all Momma. You are my perfect angel. The dream that I wasn't sure would ever come true. You have taught me so much about myself, and have made me better for it. You are my sassy, smart, creative, outgoing, vivacious girl that can't be stopped. You are as determined and stubborn as me, you are adamant (Daddy's favorite word to describe Mommy), you know what you want and go after it. Don't ever lose that! In a world that is so scary and out of control, you are my center. You remind me of what it is all really about. Kindergarten. WOW! I am still in disbelief that it is already that time. You have handled it all with grace and style, as I knew you would. You are just starting on this adventure as a "big girl" and I could not be more proud of you. You will move mountains. Follow your heart and your dreams always. I can not wait to see what life has in store for you, whatever it is I just know you will take it all in and make things better, brighter. You are a shining star in a dark sky.
You are sisters. You are always going to be sisters and connected to each other. Support one another, love one another, celebrate each other, fight, laugh, love, scream, live for each other. You are so similar and yet so different. Thank you for allowing me to be your mom. I am honored and blessed by your greatness, and love you more then the moon, and the sun, and alllllllllllll the stars in the sky infinity amen.