I find it funny that some birthdays are harder then others to deal with. I was okay with 30, but not 31...I was okay with 35 but today I find 36 to be hard. Not sure why, but I do. Part of it may be that there are goals I set that I guess I thought by now I would have done. The one that keeps coming to mind is my elusive 5K.
My husband asked me the other night why I didn't think I could go out and run one. Well, because...and then I started to stammer, and then I started to rattle off excuses...I haven't trained, my running shoes are old, I suck. :) My friends are all starting to get into the 5K hype, and I have always wanted to run one...but something always comes up. Maybe it's a underlying fear of something happening. The first time I was really trying to train was the best surprise ever...I got preggers with mini me. The next time I ended up under the knife and having my foot go partially bionic though....not a good surprise at all.
I also know though that part of it is my insane jealousy and competitive nature. I love running, and have no problem just going out and running for the sheer pleasure of it...but when I hear the word race my head goes straight to time an I feel as though I need to conquer the first time out a certain time. Maybe because I was a sprinter in track as a kid...I don't know. The hubs, awesome man that he is, can kick my butt on both pace and time when we run...and this makes me crazy. I KNOW we don't have to do things at the same pace...but seriously (no, I mean for real, seriously) I am INSANELY competitive.
How can I re-program my thought process on running when it comes to races??