Over the past few weeks I have been giving a lot of thought to body image. I have noticed how much better I feel about myself and how I look after a few good workouts. This whole foot surgery business has gotten me down. I have not been good about my workout routine, at least not as good as I was. I have felt flabby and lazy which has made me angry and sad and hard to live with. Add to this the pressure of going on vacation (not quite at the fitness point I had hoped for by then), and the Olympics! It's a perfect storm for self doubt. I have to admit though, the vacation part was eye opening to me.
I am not the type of person that flaunts regardless of what kind of shape I am in. I tend to hear my mother's voice in the back of my head when I get dressed with the new addition of my oldest daughter (who has made it clear that she NEVER wants me to be dressing like a teenager) so I tend to err on the side of caution with my fashion choices. I have a selection of what I consider to be classic pieces that I have stuck by over the years. Granted when I started losing weight (before my wedding especially) I did try to highlight my nipped in waist and tone(r) legs...but never just putting it out there.
When we were on vacation, I reached a point where I asked my husband "Am I a snob or a prude about fashion?" and his answer was "yes." I caught myself silently judging people in clothing that I didn't think was right for their body type. SHAME ON ME! Then, as I skirted around a pool in my skirted little bathing suit I thought to myself...who am I to judge? I don't know their stories. They obviously have far better body image then I do, and instead of silently chastising their choices I should be applauding them and trying to emulate them more. It was a great learning experience for me. It reminded me that you don't have to be the societal picture of perfection. You do have to be comfortable in your own skin (no matter how much or how little) and that was the part I was missing.