Thursday, July 30, 2015

Family Challenge Day 2

Well day one of swimming was almost a bust.  My hubby works at the local university so Mini and I suited up to hit the pool.  Got over there, swiped my ID (dressed in my suit with mini in her water wings), and cross over to the big closed sign on the pool.  Um, what?!?  No mention of this on the website, nothing on the door, the girl at the desk didn't mention it as we water winged our way into the building.  But alas, there will be no swimming in the dark, empty pool.  not only is it closed, its closed for the next MONTH!  The tears start up as Mini is devastated by this news.  I walk back to Susie Oblivious at the desk and was like, "so, I guess no swimming."  She looks up from her magazine and responds, "oh, us that why she is wearing those.  yeah,. sorry.  Pool is closed.  There is a paper somewhere."  Then she shuffles through the stack of print outs on her counter until she finds something about the pool closure.  Great.  Tears still coming from Mini.

Think!  Ok, so I call the city rec to see if they have open swim now.  Hallelujah they do, so we get back in the car and drive to the city rec.  Once we arrive and walk in, Mini remembers our scout trip here.  The girls learned about healthy eating and fitness and got to do some exercises.  She seems happy to be here and asks why we don't come more.  Well, we don't have memberships anymore.  This answer seems SUPER lame though, especially now with our Family Challenge.  What to do?  Easy, renew!  So I renew the family membership and we are off to the pool.

The water actually feels glorious.  We have opted for the actual rec and not the outdoor pool too so we have the pool pretty much to ourselves.  Mini doesn't really know how to swim (yet) so this is a 2 fold victory.  We get some kick boards and set to it.  Before I now it, we have been floating and paddling around for an hour!  We still have to hit the grocery store though so I pull a very reluctant and unhappy girl out of the water with a promise to return the next day.

Now, I don't know of it was the swimming, the hike she took with dad and dog earlier...or just natural inclination but she loaded our cart with fresh fruit and veggies.  I LOVED it!

Today at work I get a text, "when will you be home?"  Someone wanted the family to swim together.  So i finish up my day and head home and this is what I am greeted with


In her suit ready to go back to the pool.  I have to say here in all honesty, the hubs was already in his suit too.  :)

I hurry upstairs to get my suit on to and we head off.  For day 2 since there were 2 grown ups in the pool, we were ab;e to take turns doing laps while the other played with Mini.  Another fine hour of swimming in for the day, and later this evening we are heading out on a family hike!  Look out world, here we come.

If it were up to Mini, we would be swimming everyday.  And while I do like love the full body, non-impact work outs we get in the pool...I need a little variety in my workouts.  We girls may try and squeeze in a short bike ride before the hike.  We are just on fire.  Hopefully we are going just as strong in 40 more days!


Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Family Challenge Day 1

My hubby is still in recovery mode from his back surgery.  We had hoped that by the end of the 90 day window from the surgeon he would be back to 100%, that is not quite the case.  When he was in the worst part of his pain, he had lots of numbness from where his disc was pressing on the nerve that ran down his leg into his foot.  He had pain, numbness and at times had to walk with a cane.  For someone with a VERY physical job, this was hard...add in our two very active children and it was near impossible.

So now we are cleared by the doc, he can go back to doing everything he did before the surgery...but he still has this numbness from time to time and residual pain.  It's so hard for me to watch him be in pain and suffer...so what to do?  Well, last night we were sitting in our family room after dinner and he looks at me and says, "Lets see how healthy we can be from now until vacation."  Now, we have had these little challenges before, but there is more at stake this time.  I know he is worried about begin able to walk around Disney for a few days with how he is currently feeling.  With that in mind, there was no need to pause, I knew this would be good.  "Ok, lets do it!"

So here we are on day one...we have 42 days until we leave and I think that maybe by doing SOMEthing everyday it will help build strength back up in his muscles that was lost during his pre-surgical time and hopefully (fingers and toes crossed) re-strengthening this will help with his pain. 

This little challenge is a two-fold one for me though.  I have decided to help get myself back in the habit of sitting here with YOU more to blog each day of the challenge as well.  What the what?!?!  Yep, I'm going to do my best to sit down at least for a few minutes everyday and keep you up-to-date on how we are doing as well as keep my self honest and accountable about how we are doing. 

How does that sound?  What I am most excited about with this one is our inclusion of the kiddos too!  It really is a full family challenge, and to me that makes it the best!  So, what do we have planned for day one?  Swimming. 



My big girl had a soccer showcase this past weekend on the other side of the state so we all packed up and headed down.  She stayed with her team in one hotel and Mom, dad and lil sis stayed elsewhere.  Sher is going to be a freshman and we were literally just down the way from her so if she needed anything we were right there...but we tried to give her the freedom of being with the coaches, team and team managers.  We know we have to loosen the strings some now that she is in high school.

Anywho...if you know me then you know that I generally don't swim.  It seems tat whenever we have access to a pool the water is always far colder than I would like, so I just don't do it.  Well...after 4 hours in the car and sitting through 3 hours of games in 90+ degree heat, I was game for he hotel pool.  It was magical.  The water felt perfect.  We got in and swam around for the better part of 45 minutes before getting dressed and going out to dinner (a nice anniversary steak dinner to top of the night for us and some delish looking ribs for Mini Me). 

The next morning Mini wanted to swim again...with how well behaved and patient she has been so far sitting and cheering on her big sis through the heat...how could we say no?!? My first thought too was, "well we were SO hot yesterday that is why the water felt so good, today I'm sire will be no dice."  Much to my surprise the water felt even BETTER the next morning.  So Mini Me hopped in while Dadoo hit the hot tub for a few...then we had a nice family swim, ending with Momma getting a few minutes in the hot tub.  This renewed my faith in swimming a bit.  Top that off with the hubs stating both the first night and next morning how good it felt on his leg to be in the pool and how that relief actually carried out into the day for him.  Swimming is going to be a BIG part of this challenge. 

So here we go, time to "dive in!"


Tuesday, July 14, 2015

Here Comes the Sun

If you have been following me on my facebook page, then you know that July 2015 marks the completion of a goal that I have had for what seems like forever!  I FINALLY ran my first 5K! I mean it...I ran it.  The entire thing.  I am pretty proud of myself.  Now I know that many people (and I mean MANY people) have encouraged me, but can I say that the following words are not as encouraging as you may think...
   
"It's only 3 miles."

Yes, I know, I am well aware that the race I signed up for is only 3 miles, well 3.1 to be exact...but when someone hasn't trained, or is doubting themselves and feeling daunted already..hearing "It's ONLY 3 miles" does not help.  Thank you though to all those people who continuously told me that, I know that you were trying to be helpful...but dang.

So, I did the Smiles for Sophie Forever run with a group of friends.  SFSF is a foundation that is raising awareness for pediatric brain cancer.  Brain Cancer is a cause near and dear to our family as this past February we lost a dear friend, far too soon, to brain cancer.  A wonderful ray of light in this world that was extinguished far too soon.


This is a picture from our wedding of our dear friends Brandon and Tonya.  Look at that smile.  So young and full of life and hope for the future.  This picture is from seven years ago.  Before Tonya was first diagnosed.  My hubby and I were there when this sweet couple first started dating.  We celebrated their wedding day with them.

We were rocked to our cores when she was first diagnosed.  We celebrated her recovery and remission.  We celebrated the birth of their daughter just a year after our little mini me joined this world.


We hoped as she relapsed that God would find a way.  We feared and felt helpless as her condition worsened.  And we mourned with a dear friend, a "framily member" over the loss of his wife and mother to their sweet daughter.

Brandon and Tonya did, and he still continues to do, so much to raise awareness.  They did a lot with the organization Voices Against Brain Cancer, and due to her love of the music and meaning, they were always team Here Comes the Sun.

So when the facebook message came through asking if we would want to do this run with B, there was no hesitation.  I knew that I had to do it this time.  No excuses.  So with a few short weeks to train, I arrived the morning of July 4th ready to run.

I should pause here too and say that for some reason in my head I assumed that a race like this was going to be filled with hard core runners ready to go...I was shocked by how many people walked the race...or portions of it.  I'm not sure exactly why I was shocked, but it made me feel even better (for my own personal goals) that I ran the entire race.

The sun was shining on race day.  We were there, together, ready to go.  We were sporting our pinterest-inspired shirts, our nod to Here Comes the Sun, and as the race started I felt this  burst of energy.  I mean, come on, I was excited...I was finally doing this.  We started in the parking lot and ran down this LONG driveway into a development and as I rounded the first turn and felt the sun hit my face, my eyes filled with tears.  I could fee Tonya smiling down on us.  I knew that is what it was, she was smiling down on us and happy to see us all together, inspired by our love of her.  I remember thinking, in a perfect world she would be here with us...then it dawned on me...she already was.






Thursday, June 18, 2015

Currently-June 2015

I have been reading Coffee Cake and Cardio for a few years now, and just LOVE it.  If you haven't checked out her site yer....WHAT IS STOPPING YOU?!?!?!  She has been doing a monthly series since early 2014 called "Currently" and I always enjoy reading her updates.  I have noticed other bloggers loving this idea too (most recently Carrots 'N' Cake, so I thought....why not give it a try?

Currently: June 2015...so much good has come to our family this month.  I am settling in to my new job nicely (which as ah-may-zing BTW), hubby's back recovery is going well, then girls are killing it in their individual activities and I have rediscovered the gym. :)

Current Celebration: My little mini me was invited to audition for her dance studio's competition dance company.  She went in there, learned her routines, practiced her heart out and MADE IT!!  So proud of that little 5 year old ball of determination!
working it on picture day this past spring

ready to go at auditions

Current Confession: I have a TON of scrapbook stuff for my girls, and and TON of well intended ideas...but I am TERRIBLE about actually doing them.

Current Product Find: Ok, so this is really a "current" find as we discovered our love for it last year, but with the official start of summer coming up and its resurgence in our life over the past few weeks...my current product find/love is Hawaiian Tropic Silk Hydration.  It's light, it smells nice and it makes my skin feel great!

Current Plan: Working out.  It should seem like a no-brainer right?  But it hasn't been.  This hip thing that I am STILL dealing with has made it rough, but I am getting there.  The hubs has been inspirational here.  He is killing it with his workouts and he is still only allowed to do "so much" since surgery.  But he is giving that "so much" 110%.

Current Book: I am without right now and it is awful!  PLEASE send some recommendations!!!!

Current Purchase: My first 5K registration!  If you have been reading my blog for a while then you know that I have been wanting to do this for a long, I mean LONG, time, but something always comes up...injury, time, excuse after excuse.  Well, I have officially registered for my first one.  A group of us will be running to honor the memory of a dear friend on July 4.  We are doing the Smiles for Sophie Forever run to benefit childhood brain cancer.

Current Drink: Lemon water.  I have always loved infused water, but it seems like recently the hubs has discovered the taste of lemon water and always has fresh sliced lemons now in the fridge. 

Current Holy Moly: My baby is done with kindergarten and my big girl is off to high school.  WOW!  I am still trying to process all that.

Current Show: I have been on a rather dark streak with my netflix binging...currently it is Dexter.  I read the first book and liked it, so decided to try out the series.


Current Want: Flipbelt.  I have an iPhone6+ which I LOVE but the idea of wearing that in an armband makes me nutty!  If anyone wants to buy me one as a congrats for signing up for my first 5K...let me know, I'll tell you wear to mail it. ;)

Current Obsession: Unplugged time with the fam!  It's hard with a teenager and an iPad savvy 5 year old, but we are managing it.  They are good about getting out and getting active...so I'm ok with SOME time on devices (especially since the big one is doing summer reading on hers and the little one is practicing 1st grade website a lot...but there is also that time when it's brain rot TV or youtube).  So I am pushing for LOTS of fun family together time with NO devices....mom and dad included. :)



Tuesday, June 9, 2015

Settling In

It seems that life is finally starting to slow down a bit and allow itself to be enjoyed.  It has been so long since I sat down and wrote.  Lets see...since the post surgery update...my hubby is doing SO well.  Like ah-may-zingly well.  He is taking his doctors advice to heart about getting out and moving to get himself back on track.  He has been walking a few miles a day or hitting the gym.  nothing overly strenuous...just the elliptical for right now as he hasn't been given 100% clearance yet...that comes in a few short weeks, but he is doing great!  I got him a fitbit for Fathers Day to keep him motivated...hoping it fits ok.  He has had a really hard time finding something that fits comfortably on his wrist.

Mini me is rocking out things too.  She has been asked to audition for her dance studio's Competition Team.  She is over the moon excited about this.  She has a clinic today to get ready and tomorrow is the big day.  Mommy is taking the morning of from work to get her all ready and be there tomorrow. We went and got a new leo to wear, have all our hair stuff ready.  Daddy even found a super cool dance bag to buy if she makes the team.  We have been talking about how much more time this would mean at the studio if she makes it, and she is excited.  I think she found her passion in dance and that makes my heart soar!  We have also talked about the importance of making good choices with this new adventure.  She has always been good with food choices...this one will ask for fruit or veggies  before sweets and chips and stuff 99% of the time.  We have been trying to pick fun activities that will keep us moving too and keep us both in better shape.  She is LOVING her bike right now, so we have been doing long walks with the dog and her on her bike...I even attempted to get back out jogging some but she is too hard of a coach.  She kept shouting that I needed to move faster...I was slowing her down. hahahahha

My big girl had her first night of high school soccer training last night.  Mini me and I dropped her off and then went and did a 1 mile walk.  They worked those girls hard.  They have to pass a fit test in order to even be considered for the team.   They have awhile series of stuff they have to do...sprints, kicks, burpees, juggling, sit ups, laps, etc all in under 27 minutes to be considered.  She started at 35, which wasn't terrible for her first time out, and that was with stopping to see what had to be done at each station.  It was a shock to her system I think, but in a good way.  She got in the car after and asked if we could start running together.  So proud of how she has stepped up to this challenge. 

My new job is awesome!  So family friendly and the schedule is unreal.  I heard someone down the hall the other day say he was "too blessed to be stressed."  I really feel like that is the best way to describe life right now!

Monday, April 20, 2015

Time keeps on marchhing

Wow...I can't believe I haven't taken the time to sit and write anything since February.  Shame on me,  right?!?!  It has been a crazy few months of ups and downs and emotions and...wow is all I can really say.

First and foremost, my hubby's  back.    We are (finally) successfully two weeks post-op  today.  The difference is amazing.  He was in pain for so  long, and it was heart breaking to watch.  The idea that no matter what  I did,  nothing could make him feel better.  This road was a long one, but amazingly brought us so much closer together.  I would never  wish what he went through on anyone, especially for the length of time that  he was suffering, but honestly...the new appreciation we both have for each other  is beyond  words.

I have always known that he was the driving force behind me, behind being better, stronger, more present in our relationship...but I didn't realize how much it affected me until the past few months.  In my exhaustion of running the kids everywhere...not an exaggeration, it reached the point where being in the car  too long,  or standing/sitting in certain places was unbearable for him so I became the primary chauffeur and errand  runner.   When physical  things needed done around the house, I was the one taking on the majority of the work.  When I would feel defeated or exhausted or at my wits end, I would get a text from him reminding me how much he loved me and how much he appreciated everything I was doing.

He pushed the kids to be more independent to allow time for me to take care of me too.  Squeeze in workouts,  help out with chores, anything and everything.  Now that he is on the mend, the  family mindset has been changed  for  the better.  My 5 year old asked me when we were going for a run the other day.  What?!?!  Amazing!  My thirteen year  old asked to go through and use my workout tapes.  What?!?!  Once we get the okay from the doc, the plan is to renew the whole family 's  membership plan for the rec center and get into a  habit of exercise everyday...for ALL OF US!  I love it!

I have had so many moments over the past few  months where I was so moved by something, or so worried that I thought, I should write about this...but  then when I would sit down to start...fear would take over  my heart.  My biggest  fear being what if something goes wrong.  As the supportive and loving spouse you focus on the positive.  You reassure your husband that things will be great, the light is at the end of the tunnel (not THAT light fear factor), we will take control of  our lives again!  But everywhere I turned there was bad.  Sat to watch Grey's  the week before and two healthy, strong police officer die end  of brain dead from throwing clots in surgery.  Not what I needed to hear right then, people asking a bout the surgery and the look  of fear when they found out how extensive it was going to be...great,  thanks peeps!

Our surgeon is amazing!  He was reassuring, calm and present, it made  me feel better just talking with him before hand.  The kiddos sat with me so patiently in the OR waiting room, along with my parents and my MIL.  Such good girls.  They have really been shining stars through  this  whole thing.


And today,  2 weeks post op, my honey is driving the girls to school.  He cleaned up the garage some yesterday, helped  do  yard work,   walked the Botanical Gardens.  We are  all working on building our endurance again, and we are  doing it as a team!  All  four of us actively  engaged.  We have had moments  like this, but  they have always been fleeting...I think we are finally all on the same page.  We are all focused on the right things.   My 5 year old even wants her own fitbit.  HA  I think we may invest in the kidfit...any thoughts or experiences out there with that.

Today, I am taking a deep breath and being thankful.  I  am thankful for my family,  my health and my blessings. How are you starting over  today?




Tuesday, February 3, 2015

My Fitspiration-an honest look in the mirror


I stumbled across this picture  the other day (as you  may have seen on my facebook page) and honest  to  goodness, my first thought was "I HAVE to blog  about this."  It has been a long time since I have felt that strongly about needing to get my thoughts out and I think this is all part of my overall "acceptance" of things.  I need top keep  moving forward and finding the things that I can own, that I can hold myself to, and these two ah-may-zing blogs I am fortunate to be a part  of,  both Waits and Measure(ments)s and The Journey, allow me to  do that.

I  have challenged myself this  year  to do right by ME.  I took the time (and bravery) to take physical measurements and put them out there to all of you.   Numbers in print that can't be taken back...well, I  mean I could delete the post but we all know once its in cyberspace it is  there forever.  I have been working through the pain in my hip, I have been trying to focus.  The past few months have been hard.   My who-knows-why-my -hip-hurts chronic pain, yep I said  chronic.  Did you know that if you suffer  from pain for  more than six weeks it's considered chronic?  I didn't until my doc told me. My poor husband with his back pain that turns out to be not one but TWO herniated discs and just keeps  plugging away as best  he can.  The winter blues, thee kids activities, life in general.  It's so easy to get bogged down, and that is not  good.  It (at  least for me) leads  to feeling blue  and that  leads to overeating which leads to guilt  which leads to more eating, which ultimately leads to your pants feeling just  THAT much to tight.  I know, I  have been living it.

I was feeling puffy and gross and shameful for allowing myself to get  this way.  How does someone who writes for  not  one but TWO health focused blogs spiral down like  this?  Could you feel my shame,  I mean, I fell off  the face of  the earth with my blogging.  I  wanted to disappear, but I didn't. My family inspired me, as they always seem to do.

When my hubby and I went to see  the kinesiologist  we found the reason for  my hip pain, at least  part of  it...bad foot.  Crazy I know,  but the doc gave me an orthotic insert and I felt relief for  the first time in a long time.  While there, both the hubs and I took a nutrition survey for toxicity.  WOW was I shocked.  I mean, I know that we  don't always eat what we  should, I know that I don't exercise as much as I should...but there is SO much more than that when figuring out why you feel the way you do.  The survey covered topics like: digestion, ears, emotions, energy, weight, head, skin...to name a few.  It asked about our risk exposure  ton  things like household chemicals, pesticides, and pets.  Once we finished, after picking my jaw up from the floor, I knew it was time to do something about it.

We took home the detox cleans the doc suggested  and read through what we needed to do and decided to get started.  This was  all before the herniated discs were actually diagnosed...just severe pain for  my poor hubby.  It got to  the point where he  knew after
no  relief came from the AK doc that he  needed to  see  someone how would help with the pain.  With that in mind,  we decided to put the cleans eon the back burner for a few (who wants to  cleanse pain meds out when you feel as   awful as  he does).

Fast forward  a few weeks and we are on the long wait to see  thew spinal surgeon, so meds are in place for a while.  Dear hubby encouraged me to  go ahead  and start  the cleanse, he can always do  later.  So I do...I can't even begin to tell you how much better I felt after just a few days.  The puffiness and bloating I'd been carrying in my midsection is gone.  My hubs even said my face looked less puffy and more sculpted like  it used to.  I  got  complimented at work by someone who said I looked as though I was"glowing".  All of this from detoxing?!?!  I mean, I wont get into the details but my little 5'2 frame was really holding onto a lot of stuff it shouldn't have been.

So as I am progressing, my hubby goes to see  a pain management doc.  The pain management doc is having him  wait on pain blockers until he tries some water therapy...ok, at least  we have something in place now.  I am feeling pretty good at this point but still not getting back on the workout trail.  Do you ever feel guilty for working out when someone else can't?  My  hubby has ALWAYS been my workout buddy.  He pushes me to keep going, keep getting stronger, and with him WANTING to work out and not being able to I felt as though I couldn't or at least shouldn't enjoy those endorphins without him.  And because he knows me so  well, he knew  I was stalling.

He told me that I was NOT to wait  for  him, that if he  was  able he'd be working out everyday, and I know he means it.  So I  hit the mat.  I am aiming high too for just really coming back.  I figure February is a short month so why not try to do SOMETHING everyday.  Whether its walking, a full on cardio or  strength workout...whatever....as long as  its something!  AND even better, PT has encouraged swimming for the hubs, its supposed to be a great way to  workout with herniated discs s o  he is re-upping the rec membership so he can start to swim and try and get himself back on track and stronger  and more fit wile still dealing with this pain.

Its funny because I have really only been out of my routine for about 6-8 weeks which in the grand scheme isn't a lot, but even with the setbacks I must have been doing something right.  My kiddos (well  the little one at least) actually will sit and watch and CHEER for me as I burn those calories,
and then they hit the mat together too.    They know the importance of it.


the girls  doing a little yoga together :)
So we are moving forward, and finding/making better choices and I feel like there  are  some GREAT things on the horizon for  my  little family!  Feeling fit-spired!




Monday, January 5, 2015

Inching closer to the goal


As we  all trudge forward into another  glorious year, I felt like this picture was a perfect mindset to start off the year.  I wrote a  piece( for The Journey) called Ho-Ho-Hold On that hit on the  New Years Resolution phenomenon..ALL those bodies in the gym...but it was about then that  too...it  was about taking those small steps towards the bigger goal.  What a perfectly named site right, The JOURNEY because that IS what it  is all about.

I decided  this year to try something different.  I've talked about accountability, and that is SO  important,  but what have I really put at stake?  What measurable goals have I shared with you? None.  How do you know how I  am doing other than through these fabulous updates?  You don't. How do I really know?  I don't.  and that isn't fair...to  you, or to  me.  So this year I am laying it all out there.  

It has been a rough few weeks.  This  hip pain has only gotten worse, so  I am FINALLY going to see another doctor  and see what  we can do.  My hubby is having a similar problem, so there has to be something more to it all then just an overworked hip flexor muscle.  I am excited about our appointments because we are meeting with a very accomplished kinesiologist and will both be getting full work ups...nutrition, blood  work, alignment, everything. It has been hard with all this pain to even walk  sometimes, so I am DEFINITELY not at a happy place on the scale...but  even that doesn't matter.  The goal is to  get there.   The goal is to  see what I am doing to my body and correct  the things that aren't working properly.  

All that being said...it's time to look at hard numbers.  I am a vain person.  I have NEVER  posted numbers like this before,  but I think in order to make it sink in for myself...I need to be as honest as possible with myself...and with you, so  here  it  goes.

As of  this morning, Monday 1/15/15:
Weight: 131 (not since I was preggers have I hit this number)
Bust:  34
Waist: 27
Hips: 38
Thighs: 22

How do I set a goal from here?  Inch wise  I have no idea...less is  better I guess, right?!?!  weight wise, I am at the high end of normal for  my height...so I would like to drop at least 10.  Not a huge amount, but they always say the last 10 are the hardest.    I have my work cut out for me.  I will keep you posted, and will update  the numbers once a month.  I will let you know  what the new doc says too...I am excited to see how my inner workings are doing.  I think I will be in for a shock.  The general stuff is good,  that I  know from having them done in November (cholesterol,  BP, etc), this will go  into things like thyroid and liver function, general nutrition, etc.


Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Acceptance


I have started this blog over and over in the past  few weeks.  Just  trying to really get my thoughts clear, get my head  clear.  Have you ever  felt like that, like you have turned a corner and you are so excited you want to  share it but just can't make it clear?!?!  That is where  I have been living the past  few weeks, and its great, and frustrating all  at once.

I had an epiphany a few weeks before Thanksgiving.  It was the strangest thing.  I was getting dressed for work, something that happens everyday  and usually triggers some sort of negative thought. Something like, that used to be more  tone or that was firmer once upon a time.  So I'm getting dressed and I look in the mirror and I think, pretty good for 37.  Yep,  37...and normally too this would have bothered me but it didn't, it doesn't.  It instead started this while whirlwind of thoughts and feelings.

The day I got  married I was in the best shape of my life, I will never be like that again.  ow here  is where the change happened...I  will never be like that again NOT because I'm lazy or anything like that....I will never be like that again because I am not that person anymore.   I'm not that young, I don't have the amount of free time I had then,  my body isn't the same...I  have been pregnant, I have rounded another decade, so many things...and you know what?  I'm good  with it.  I accept it.  Not only that, I embrace it.

It's true, I will never have the body I had at 21 again, I  will never have the body I had on my wedding day again...and I am so grateful for that fact!   I will never have it again because  I can be better...I can be healthier and stronger.  When I was younger I could workout for hours, I could run everyday unhindered...but now I have to make time for it.  But  you know what, it has made  me healthier overall.  I may have 10-15 pounds more on my frame right now then I would like, but its okay...because (most) of the food choices that got me there are  FAR better then the ones I made when I was hard(er)-bodied twenty-something.  My metabolism isn't what it used to be...but I can work with that, I can push myself harder...and until I get there, if I get there I'm good with how I am right now.

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Wow...I'm thinking like a real grown up

t feels as though it has been forever since I posted.  I am not sure where the time goes sometimes.  I have the best of intentions and have so much to share with you,  but then life gets in the way.   Isn't that always how it seems to go?!?!  Well my friends not today.   Today I am making YOU a priority.  Doesn't that sound sweet, I wont lie though…this is only partially for you.  By taking this time, these few moments to update you…I am making time for ME!  Where to begin.
Over the weekend I saw something that scared me, shamed me and disgusted me.  It was the number on the scale  in my bathroom.  Now this post is not going to be a shamefest.  I was  actually more disgusted on the whys of  this number than the number itself.  I know that I don’t always make the best  food choices,  but I am human hear  my stomach roar!   I  also know that I am   not eating every meal from a box or wrapper though.  I don’t always get in the workouts I should, but I have upped my step goal by 2000 steps  a day in the past few months.  I am walking 3-3.5 miles everyday at lunch during the workweek, I am hitting my step goal earlier in the days on the weekends.  I  was coaching soccer and running around with my kiddos 2 days a week…how did this happen?!?!
Before you jump on  the “muscle weighs more than fat” band wagon,  let  me assure you that I am aware of  that and that in this circumstance, it’s not the issue either.  I can see the loss  of tone my laziness has brought on.  But  it has given me reason to  pause.
I am just as bad  as everyone else out there.  I know we all  want to be the person that “doesn't care about what  then pics in the magazines look like” or  the person that can say,  “as long as  I’m healthy I  don’t care  what the number on the scale says.”  I agree.  I am that person to a point.  Where  does that point end…at the number I saw this weekend.  If I was more  secure,  I would share  it  with you…but I know that YOU know that its different for all of us.  We all have a number  that scares us.  One that defines us.  I hit  mine.  i knew what  it was before, so  this was no shock…I just didn't  plan on seeing it again for a long time.
Now, I  have read that after 30 people tend to put on 10 pounds a year after 30.  WHAT!  That wont be me.  I  will defy all odds…well l guess what, I have less than 3  years  to now prove that wrong.  This weekend, I  saw THAT number.   This weekend my eyes opened wide, as wide  as my butt felt. ;)
Is this irreversible?  No of course not.  But I am realizing (slowly and in my own denial riddled way)  that I have to make changes if I want to see changes.  Not  the kind of changes that are  obvious,  eat better/exercise more, but the kind of choices like really monitoring what I put into my body and how it reacts.  I can feel sometimes how foods I have always loved make me feel differently now.   They don’t all agree  with me the  way they used  to…examples you ask?  Gluten and nuts stand out the most.  I’m not  trying to be hip with the gluten,   I can actually see  and feel a difference  in my body when I cut the gluten out though.  I drop a few pounds in just a few days from water.  I can see my belly flatten  out,  it’s just so darn hard to cut gluten all together and without having a legit medical reason too…I get lazy.
I know that I am not alone in this  fight, this journey.  How do you  cope with this?