Friday, November 20, 2015

My Boast Post

Do you remember when Brokeback Mountain came out?  Yeah, I didn't really either and had to look up the date.  It was WAY back in 2005.  I ask because that is the last time I can remember really feeling the way I did this morning.  This whole week actually.  My then boyfriend (now hubby) and I had a date night planned to go see the movie with a couple that we are great friends with and I had bought this pair of jeans from NY&Co (I think they were still Lerner New York then-ha) and I loved them.  I loved them partially because of the super small number in the waistband, and partially because of how good I felt in them.  I felt skinny and sexy and like I was wowing my fella.  I wish I had those jeans still today because I feel like I could maybe get them back on and razzle dazzle again.

Is this too much?  I mean, I feel like when you have these moments where you feel this good about how things are going you should be able to tout off a bit, right?  If you are offended, I'm sorry...but I am feeling pretty good and want to shout it from the rooftops. 

Even on my wedding day, when I had been diligent about my eating and my workouts, and was VERY happy with how I looked in my nice mermaid fit dress, I don't think I felt as happy about how I am looking as I do today.  What makes it so funny is that the number on the scale is higher today then it was on my wedding day, but that has kind of started to lose it's importance.  BREAKTHROUGH, am I right?!?!?!
the happy couple SO many years ago :)

Maybe it's the "gift of age", maybe I really am getting wiser as I get older....I mean I know I am getting grayer hahaha.  Maybe its reaching a point and a maturity where you have a greater acceptance of yourself and your accomplishments, I'm not sure, but whatever it is, I don't want to lose it.  How I am feeling now, is what I want my daughters to see and feel for themselves! 

Is this what a turning point feels like?  I hope so, because this is the "a-ha" moment I have needed, this is the "sign" that what I am doing for myself is what I SHOULD be doing.  I have found myself making sure I make time for me.  I have made my workouts a priority.  I have come to a "happy place" with my eating habits and have grown accustomed to the changes we have made, I even find myself pampering myself a little more.  Here's to keeping the momentum going!

Happy Friday!!

Tuesday, November 17, 2015

Downsizing all Around

I am not a Black Friday shopper.  My mom is, my aunt was, my cousins...but, not me.  To me, the day after Thanksgiving is reserved for cleaning and prepping and getting the holiday decor out.  The cleaning has to happen because I am slightly OCD with decorations so there can't be any proof of where past decor was set in the dust. :)

It's actually one of my favorite days in the year, even though I get grumpy at times.  I love it because my whole little family comes together and does at least a small part.  My hubby gets the tree out and brings it upstairs, my oldest hangs her obligatory ornaments on the tree and then will sneak off to do her own little tree in her room, and my mini me, well she takes charge and helps me throughout the process.  She has actually taken to being in charge of ALL decorating the past few holidays so this will be an interesting year.  As I mentioned I am a bit OCD about things and I like where I pace things year to year...there is a sense of tradition and familiarity to it...min me finds doing the same things over and over boring so we have had some "creative differences" with previous holidays...but I have already kind of decided that she can set it how she wants.  I am going to enjoy the fact that she WANTS to help.  We will put on Christmas music, make hot cocoa and coffee, and set to it.

The other thing I like about the day (well, with this more the weekend) after Turkey Day is the girls have gotten good about purging things from their rooms.  It has started already with my oldest this year, she has cleared out a closet and made her three stacks: keep (and store), donate, garbage.  She literally emptied out one of her two closets with the help of her little sister last week.  Now, truth be told its because she wants a vanity of sorts built in to it as part of her Christmas presents, so it had to happen sooner rather than later.  Seeing big sis do this though, has prompted Mini Me to get started on the process.  Hers is a little more chaotic because she generally (and this year is no different) inherits some of the stuff big sis opts to discard.  So it's clearing out, making space for stuff from sis plus room in case Santa decides she IS on the nice list. ;)

This prompts Mom and Dad t go through their stuff, and we have already cleared out three garbage bags full of clothing and things that were donated for girl scouts at the start of the month.  Now the downsizing continues.

This year, its also SUPER exciting because for the first time in a long time we are actually downsizing ourselves pretty successfully as well going into the holiday season.  We are still enjoying a (very) low carb lifestyle, and I am still very happy with what I am seeing.  In 7 weeks I am down 7 pounds and 4.5 inches.  WHAT!!!  I am SO excited! hubby is down close to 20 pounds, he hasn't done any measurements but based on the fact that there was discussion about needing to add holes to our belts, I KNOW he is feeling the same lack of size that I am.

This is huge.  Like monumentally huge.  At this point in the year, we are usually so defeated that we have reserved ourselves to trying again after the holidays.  This year, we are allowing ourselves Thanksgiving Day to enjoy all the crazy carbs we want, and then back to it starting on Black Friday.  It also is good that I have gotten myself into a nice workout schedule.  I am doing lots of good walking everyday (14K+ steps kind of walking) and am getting in strength/cardio 4 days a week.  Now that the high school soccer season is over, it's freed up a LOT of time and I can use that time to make myself a priority.  We get home on Mondays with enough time fr me to get in a good 45 minutes before the hubs gets home and we start on dinner prep, and on Wednesdays and Fridays, I have nothing but time after dropping Mini Me off at dance.  The tricky one is that 4th workout which is generally on the weekend...and that's just because we have been able to do lots of fun family time, so making sure I work it in is sometimes tricky...but it's happening.  SOMETIMES I even squeeze a 5th workout in on a Tuesday or Thursday night.  I am also making sure I do some squats and standing core work EVERYDAY, usually before bed.

I'm not sure that I can think of a time when I have felt this confident about our eating/workout plan going into the holiday rush.  Santa can bring whatever additions he wants, so long as they support my "subtractions."  Let the downsizing continue!!

Friday, November 13, 2015

Broadening my Horizons

Ok, so I am a bit hesitant to even write this post for a multitude of reasons, the fear behind these next few words is crazy, but...I have been doing great!  WHAT!  Fear?!?!  Yes!  I feel like whenever I get on track with things and TALK about it, that is exactly when I fall off.  So, why take the risk?  because, it needs to be taken.

Hubs and I have been low carbing life for about 6 weeks now.  It was hard at first, but honestly I don't miss the food we used to eat.  As I said in my post Low Carbing and Hemp Heart Winner, the pros outweigh the cons (pun intended).  I am sleeping SO much better (which is actually my fav thing), I am slowly but surely seeing the numbers on the scale drop, my clothes fit SO much better (I even pulled three pairs of pants out of the donation bag as they now fit again), and the most weird...i LOVE checking myself out.  If I see w full length mirror, I'm there.  I like what I am seeing.  I like the way I look in my clothes again, I like when I am working out how the tighter fitting clothes look.  I can SEE results as well as feel them and to me that is the ultimate win! 

So the other scary part of this post is what I am about to say next...only because the ;last time I tried this it was not a great experience, but I feel like I owe it to one of my writing partners in crime, Jessica Williams from The Journey, to give it another shot! Ok, here it goes...I want to try spinning!  Seeing it written out like that as a "major confession" seems silly, but you have no idea.  Well, strike that, maybe you do.

So far I have been working out steadily to my Ellen Barrett DVD collection.  LOVE HER!  I have been doing a nice rotation of her workouts, with the occasional run thrown in there and its been great.  I have been able to do it all from the safe space of my house, by myself...but spinning means going to a gym, taking a class.  Ugh!  I own it on my yoga mat in my room when I am getting my sweat on with Ellen, or hitting the pavement in my neighborhood (running when most aren't even home from work yet)...but this is different.  This is a class.  A class in public.  A class that could be filled with spinning pros and me.  Ugh again I say.  At least I can say proudly that I am a gym member...I was swimming pretty regularly for a while before the girls fall sports started up...that plan is to get back on track too abut again, even though at the gym...more of an individual thing, or fun with the kiddos.

So, I am pretty sure I am going to try it.  Jessica swears by it (wish I could take HER class, but seeing as how she is a few states away).  What is YOUR fav workout class to take?

Monday, November 2, 2015

Bad at Math

Have you ever had one of those moments where you decide how you are going to move forward with a diet or exercise plan and you throw yourself in whole hog without doing ALL the research first.  Well friends, that is me.  Sometimes I get SO excited about starting something new that I am hoping will be the thing that "sticks" the thing that gives me the results I want to see, that I glaze over the details.  I think its one of the things my hubby loves about me, well, I am hoping that it is.  ;)

So we have been "low carbing" at our house for about a month now and are very happy with our results.  I am very excited to share too that once I got over the initial funk of how do I energize my body when I'm not loafing (Freudian) loading up on breads, pastas, chips...etc.  too that I really was able to embrace the results and add in a steady exercise program again too!  I even was mature enough to acknowledge that adding in exercise (especially my weight training) may stall the decline on the scale, but that was OK since I was toning my guns back up!

But then last Friday I had a palette problem.  Nothing tasted right.  My egg salad (made with mayo GROSS not miracle whip) tasted almost Coke zero tasted overly sugary...what was happening!  I had to break down an apple.  WHAT!  Crisis, holy smokes!  Sadly, that was my honest reaction to start.  Apples are not going to help me stay under 20 carbs a day.  Did you just read that?  Under 20 carbs a day. What is wrong with that statement.  Until I went home and started playing with my carb tracker app and realizing the errors of my ways, nothing was wrong with that....but you see I had missed, in my overzealous nature one very important word...NET. 

You see, to get things started, I should be aiming to stay under 20 NET carbs a day.  That is a much different thing then 20 carbs.  How did I miss this?  Alas, accept it and move on with adjustment.  This for some reason made me think...OK, I can REALLY do this and be a little more forgiving.  You see take my nutrition drink I had this morning with breakfast.

Label says 5 under carbs...but that is a bit misleading.  With the low carb approach you have to do arch what I needed to do was:
Total Carbohydrates
- Dietary Fiber
- Sugar alcohol
= Net carbs

Now my nice little drink is a mere 2carbs.  Whoo hoo!  Thank you carb tracker app, and I can't believe I am going to say it...but thank you math!

Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Low Carbing and Hemp Heart Winner

a Rafflecopter giveaway

First and foremost, CONGRATS to Elizabeth F for winning the hemp hearts giveaway here!  :)  I just KNOW she is going to enjoy them!  Such a fun, nutty addition to any meal.  I found them to be a great way to add extra flavor and protein to my salads especially!

The hemp hearts were a nice way to add that little extra something while beginning my "low carb" lifestyle.  I have to say, when you sit and discuss cutting carbs and think of all the things you will be giving up or cutting way, way, WAY back on its daunting to say the very least.  Bread, pasta, doughnuts, cake, cookies...oh dear.  This wouldn't necessarily be too terrible except we have a tendencies to ALWAYS have doughnuts around at work (my fav), and Mini Me, my aspiring chef loves to BAKE more than anything.  She is planning her initial victory for Cupcake Wars, then to eventually be a star on her own food network show.  She watches episodes of Cupcake Wars on Netflix, and then acts them out.  Then she starts to think about what she is seeing and what she knows she likes and creates her own ideas and is not happy until we see them into fruition.  we signed up to bring cupcakes to the school carnival this weekend which brought about multiple discussions on what type of cupcakes we would be making.  How many 6 year lds weigh the option of ganache over fondant?  Her first cupcake, omne that we had to do  test round on, is Night on Chocolate Mountain(trademark pending).

This is a chocolate cupcake with a dark chocolate filling, a sprinkling of mini chocolate chips in the cupcake itself as well as a topper on the homemade chocolate buttercream frosting.  
Now obviously she is 6 and can't use the oven on her own, but for the most part that is the only thing we are helping with.  She reads the mix boxes, gets out the measuring cups and spoons, assembles her ingredients and gets started.  My favorite part of this test round was when my hubby was helping make the frosting and she was explaining how he needed to be more careful so the buttercream didn't separate. 

Hubs and I did break down and split a cupcake...only half as many carbs in HALF a cupcake right?!?!  And it was SO worth breaking the numbers for that day.  My main rule is, if my kiddo makes something from scratch, I am trying "diet" is more important than her happiness.

OOOhh and bonus, my pants were still loose the next morning. ;)

I have not been missing the carbs as much as I thought I would.  The numbers on the scale are dropping, slowly but surely.  The best thing is how much better my clothes fit and how soundly I sleep.  I think the cutting down on refined carbs (aka sugar) has really done WONDERS for the type and quality of sleep I am now getting.  I wake up refreshed...which hasn't happended in a long time.

I do have energy drops, the past few weeks have been rough, no energy after everything is said and done to go out and exercise too...but this past weekend, I got myself out and got in a couple mile run.  It. Felt. Amazing!!!  So glad I forced myself to do it.  My goal at this point is to continue on a low carb diet and try to get in at least (minimum) 3 workouts a week.  I am seeing (and feeling) my clothes get more and more loose, and my body get smalled in places...time to make sure it is also getting/staying toned!

Thursday, October 22, 2015

What's Happening in Your World (blog link up)

What’s Happening In Your World?

I’d love to see your responses to these questions in the comments or on your own blog (as would Kenlie so be sure to hit her blog up!!!!)

If you decide to answer please let me know, so I can head over and read your responses.

Here’s what’s happening in my world:
  1. What’s the title of the last book you read? I don't get to sit an actually "read" a lot, but I have been finding great joy over the past year or 2 in audio books.  I just finished The Scorch Trials by James Dashner, it's book 2 in the Maze Runner series, and I have book three on hold.  Those first two were pretty good, my fav recent book though I would have to say would be The Book Thief.  I just loved that one.
  2. What is the last thing you cooked at home?The hubs and I are low carbing it right now, so the last thing I cooked at home was my breakfast this morning which was 2 eggs, over easy with a dash of hot sauce.
  3. What is your favorite thing about Fall?I love fall!  It's my favorite season when it plays along.  I love the colors, the cooler temps, the smell of bonfires and crisp air.  I love coffee at night, my puffy vests and boots...I just love it all!!!
  4. Share one thing that challenged you at some point over the last week. My energy levels have been a challenege.  I knew I would have a dip with this low carb diet, so I made sure I had good vitamins and lots of good carbs (veggies and such), but it's been a rough one...especially this week. 
  5. List three hobbies that you actively pursue or want to pursue. Now that the temps are dipping I am back to my knitting looms, I enjoy cooking and trying new recipes, and I have been on an organizational boom lately which makes me happy.
  6. Did you watch the Democratic debate on CNN last week? Nope, we did homework and school fun instead with the kiddos.
  7. Which company do you use for car insurance? I have had Progressive since I got my license 150 years ago.  I have an awesome agent who is the parent of a friend from high school and they take great care of us.  There may be better prices out there, but not better service that's for sure.
  8. Have you started Christmas shopping yet? No.  I am a firm believer that you should not jump ahead on holidays.  It's October so I HAVE gotten a few new Halloween things, and have started looking for a new tablecloth for Turkey Day...but nothing Christmas related happens (shopping, decorating, etc) until after Thanksgiving in our house.
  9. Share three things about the last person you spoke to today. We are in the process of refinancing our house and I just spoke to our mortgage rep.  1) she is a true blessing from God.  She lifts things up to him and prays over them (even when we signed papers she prayed over them at our house), 2)she is a force of positive energy, 3) we are so lucky to have her in our lives and I know we will continue too even after the papers are all signed. :)
  10. Do you remember your dreams? Not usually, unless its something really powerful that I think is trying to relay some sort of message to me.

Monday, October 19, 2015

I heart Hemp Hearts

OMG!  I am very excited to share this with all of you!  So a few weeks ago I was selected by Manitoba Harvest to try out Hemp Hearts and do a review.  I was a little wary, as I sometimes am with food that is so new to me, but I scanned through some of their suggestions as to what to eat it with/on...and decided what the heck.

First a little background on these, they are a great source of Omegas and plant-based proteins.  They have a nutty taste to them and I have to be honest...they are delish!  Who knew!  The hubs and I have been cutting back on our "bad carbs" so sometimes the thought of ANOTHER salad is just too much...but add a little dash of these goodies, and it gives the salad a whole new taste.

a little dash of hemp hearts on my salad

added a bit to my eggs

on the table to share with the fam at dinner

salad topper
I actually am a bit mad at myself because I used it on other things too...scrambled eggs, lettuce wraps, but TBH I was either so hungry at the tine or so enveloped in the yumminess of my creation that I forgot to  take pics!!

These little delights add just the right amount of extra flavor to anything!  The kiddos were even intrigued by them.  And with us being on a lower carb diet right now, all the extra protien that these little bad boys pack was much aprciated.

I am looking forward to purchasing some more of these as my first bag is almost gone already.  Oh yeah, did I menton that...all of these meals pictured above PLUS at ;least 4-5 more have nice portions of Hemp Hearts added, and they are all from the SAME BAG!  So I that you have heard (and seen) the yumminess you want some of your very own too don't you?!?!  Wel you are in luck because my good friends at Manitoba Harvest want to give one lucky reader a free sample, just enter below!!

Monday, October 12, 2015


Sometimes it's like the universe is lining you up specifically for certain things, don't ya think?  The past week has been just mind blowing for me.  To start, my sweet Nelson came home.  After 6 weeks of being out on some sort of crazy cat adventure, he is back and making our hearts so happy once again!  Mini me had a few friends over so the house was loud and crazy, which is what I thought was making the dog crazy.  Then I start to hear something on the back porch.  Assuming it's a raccoon, I did NOT want to open the door, but pup was nutty and I knew that also meant she would need to go out.  I bundled up (as it was in the 50's and rainy) and opened the door...and sitting there al  sweet and cute in the rain was my kitty boy.  My heart stopped.  I couldn't believe it.  We let him in and he ran straight for his food.  I am still in disbelief, but so very happy.
cuddling to get warm upon his return

The second piece of my karmic alignment ;) involves our family health.  Hubs has researched so many various diets and eating plans.  We have counted calories, cut Gluten, gone strict Atkins...and they all have short term effects, but nothing long term.  So last week we did some talking and kind of created our own modified version of various things.  Basically we have cut down on complex carbs and are trying to really stick to healthier ones, as well as cover all other nutritional needs.  We have cut back on some higher sugar foods and it is working pretty well.  Hubs is down 10+ pounds in a week, and I'm down with the cut in sleep has been AMAZING!  I mean, super deep, restful sleep.  I hadn't rea;ized how bad off I was sleepwise until I started getting some real quality sleep.

And to top things off, remember our #FitFujiFam challenge we had going on before vacation?  Well, the fabulous folks at #BOSUStrong have a #FitFamily challenge this week and I am excited to jump on board and be a part.  I will be posting various things this week as part of the challenge and am hoping you will jump on board too!  To get started, cut and paste this fun Madlib into the commenst section after filling out! 


For the last four weeks, the Sweat Pink community teamed up with BOSU to show the
world what it means to be #BOSUStrong. One thing that makes me BOSUStrong is my 
family because they inspire me to______________________. And I hope to inspire them 

__________, _________, ______ (family members) and I love to _______ (activity) together! We 
_______ on week days, and take advantage of the weekends to _______ together! I introduced 
_____ (kid name) to ______ (activity) and love watching _______ (kid name) ________ (activity). 
Any time we ______ (Activity), ______ (kid name) amazes me/kicks my butt! A family that 
______ (activity) together, sticks together! 

Our favorite #FitFamily BOSU workout is________________ because ____________________. And I am loving the BOSU Sport and the BOSU Sport-Kids DVD because its a great workout for my kid 
and has helped with their ___________________.

We are so excited to have the opportunity to try the new BOSU Sport, a smaller version of the BOSU Balance Trainer (the Sport is 50 cm while the Balance Trainer is 65 cm)  that’s absolutely perfect for kids.  Now, the whole family can “BOSU” together!

That’s why we are a #BOSUStrong #FitFamily! 

We are so excited to have the opportunity to try the new BOSU Sport, a smaller version of the BOSU Balance Trainer (the Sport is 50 cm while the Balance Trainer is 65 cm)  that’s absolutely perfect for kids.  Now, the whole family can “BOSU” together!
That’s why we are a #BOSUStrong #FitFamily! 

The new BOSU® Sport-Kids DVD encourages kids to have lots of fun while they get fit, strong and flexible! This total body fitness program, created by renowned trainer Brett Klika, targets 6 – 12 year olds and teaches kids that when you exercise your heart, lungs and muscles every day, you can be fit for life. The 60 minute DVD includes five BOSU® workouts, plus warm-up and cool-down, focusing on different components of fitness. Segments can be used individually or linked together for longer workouts. Check out the BOSU SPORT-Kids DVD: Get it for FREE when you purchase a BOSU Sport using the code: BOSUSWEATPINK15.

Lastly, get excited because BOSU just launched two new workout DVDs: BOSU Total Body Basics / and BOSU Core Basics Get ONE of these 2 these downloads for FREE when you purchase a BOSU Balance Trainer using the code: BOSUSWEATPINK15.

Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Making the Rounds

I know I have seemed pretty absent lately, right?  Well it is partially true.  I was on vacation for a week.  Oh sweet wonderful vacation with the fam.  Crunching through steps on my fitbit like a boss.  Oh how I do heart Disney.
But this is not the ionly reason I have been so quiet.  I have actually been pretty busy writing.  What?  Hold the phone!  I know, I know where is the fruit of all this labor?  Well, glad you asked.  I had the opportunity over the past few weeks to guest post on not 1 but TWO fabulous blogs!

The first that went live was for a fellow #sweatpink ambassador, Taylor, who has an amazing blog over at Muscles and Pearls.  I got a chance to talk about trying to find the  balance between family and fitness for myself.  It was intersteing as I got going to see where the words took me.

The second post which is live TODAY was for yet another #sweatpink ambassador Ellyn, who has a fabulous blog going over at In Fitness and In Health.  This one was fun too as it gave me motivation to pre-plan some fitness for our #fitfujifam vacay! 

 I hope you'll stop over and check out these two awesome blogs and (selfishly) check out my posts over there!

Happy Tuesday!

Thursday, September 3, 2015

The Big Picture

Over the past few weeks, while working on and trying to make sure I keep up with our Fit Family Challenge, I have really taken pause and looked at things in a more "big picture" way.  It's funny to me how little things, like making sure I get SOME movement in each day, can really change your perspective and how you look at things.  

When my youngest was born, I hated the fact that we weren't in a position where I could be a stay at home mom.  What if I missed something?  What if we weren't as close as she grew up as I had been dreaming we would be?   Why did my BFF get to stay home and not me?  These were questions that ran through my mind all.the.time.  But there was no changing how our life was, so it was something I learned to deal cope with, and it was hard.

What it did give me though was the ability to appreciate every moment we did/do spend together and the hope that things would eventually change.  I got a better job, the hours were better....I thought this was my time.  Mini me started pre-school and things were good.  Once she was in kindergarten though, I was back to feeling upset and angry.  My job changed some, which meant my hours changed and no the ream of mini being a car rider every day was gone.  We had to enroll her in extended care, and I hated everyday of it.  The first few weeks she cried everyday when she got there.  Now, she was generally only there for 30 minutes, but the tears broke my heart.

I had to find the silver lining.  My job was better than before, a little more money coming in, the schedule change forced me to take time for me everyday...and I used that time to exercise.  I started walking everyday for an hour.  I would grab my phone, listen to a book on tape and could generally crank out 3-3.5 miles in that hour.  When I had blood work done after a while, my numbers were all better, and I was feeling less stressed, but still guilty.

This daily moving though spurred me to do more at home which got everyone moving more.  The hubs and I would take turns exercising while the other played with the kiddos.  It was a nice routine, but I still longed for those SAHM perks.  Enter the opportunity I had been waiting for.  I was unhappy with work and all the changes that continued to happen, especially the workload increase ion everyone and the expectation that we would just take it and deal.  It was bad for morale and EVERYONE was unhappy.  That's a hard envirnoment to work in, my outlet other than my daily walk was to scan employment postings.  And that where I found my cha-ching!  

The job I am in now is, well a blessing.  I honestly don't know how else to explain it.  For the first time in 15 years I am working with someone who appreciates having school aged children at home and who puts family first the same way I do.  For the first time in 15 years, I can call in and say..."Hey, we have a parent program at school today" without a knot in my stomach for fear of the repercussions.  For the first tie since mini was born, I feel like I have the perks of a SAHM...she is a car rider both ways to school, she can do activities after school at 4:30 because Mom can be there and get her there, I can make my older daughters 5:00 soccer games, I can go to room parties, book fairs, volunteer in the classroom...all because of this blessing that is my new job.

This also means that I have a LOT more time after school to be active with my family.  We can do more nature walks, bike rides, swimming..all because we aren't getting home in time for dinner to get started.  We get home WAY before that!  It means being able to help teach mini how to ride without training wheels on a weeknight!  It means dropping her off at 4:30 dance class while Big Sis is at soccer, and mom getting in a much needed run.

Looking at how our life is, right now, in this moment, has allowed me to see the big picture...and I tell you what, I wouldn't change it for anything!  I have the best of both worlds.  My own sense of worth in my job career, and my sense of feeling like a great mom and wife!